When my wife and I married in our 20s, we were virgins, and we have had no other sexual partners. I have now reached my 80s. Initially...
When my wife and I married in our 20s, we were virgins, and we have had no other sexual partners. I have now reached my 80s.
Initially, our love-making was clumsy, and painful for my wife; she was prescribed an anaesthetic cream. Things gradually eased, especially after childbirth, and over the years we have generally enjoyed intercourse two or three times a week. We must have made love well over 4,000 times.
In the early days, we got some variety by making love occasionally outdoors and also, rarely, with my wife on top. Our love-making is simple and direct. Each of us readily becomes aroused through kissing and caressing. If she reaches a climax, it coincides with my own. But while my sexuality is a significant part of my conscious mind, my wife’s seems more deep-seated and wordless. Almost always I take the lead, and I can recall her actively initiating sex only once: while at summer school several hours away, she became aroused, and urgently phoned to ask me to join her. We made love three times that day: a memory to cherish.
We have explored very little of the vast range of possible sexual activity now in the media and online. I would be interested, but my wife doesn’t feel any need to enhance or vary our love-making. For me, it’s like enjoying the same meal every day. Recently, I’ve been using Viagra. It works, but climaxes come less regularly or easily. We still make love once a week.
I do sometimes wonder what sex would be like with someone else, but I’ve chosen to stay monogamous. I’m deeply thankful for what we’ve had, and continue to have – not just sex.
• Each week, a reader tells us about their sex life. Want to share yours? Email sex@theguardian.com
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